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2015.03.31 | did she just say the "c" word


Friday, March 27, 2015 I had an appointment for a biopsy of my left breast. They said they would call in 2-3 days to let me know the results. I didn’t think too much of it since I had had a lumpectomy back in 2002 and the biopsy came back benign (non-cancerous). Tuesday, March 31, I went to work. That afternoon as I was sitting at my desk, I got a call from my doctor. I walked away from my desk to call her back. I don’t remember what she said exactly but she asked if it was a good time to talk and if I was in a private area. Then she said she didn’t expect the results to come back the way they did and I remember thinking to myself, “stay calm” then I thought “is she really about to say the ‘c’ word”. Yep, she said I had breast cancer.


It’s like all the breath was knocked out of me. I walked back to my desk as I tried to stay calm and deny what I had just heard. I sat at my desk and then the shock came. A flood of thoughts filled my head. I felt like my emotions were about to overtake me. I had to leave. There weren’t a lot of people at their desks at the time because of a presentation down in the atrium and my assistant manager was off that day. I had to let someone know I was leaving work but I knew I couldn’t talk to anyone at that moment because I didn’t want everyone to see me bawling my eyes out and wonder what the heck was going on…